I’m having a bit of a mid-life crisis.
Not the type of mid-life crisis where you go find yourself a twenty year old girl, or buy some super slick sports car, or decide to trek across the world. No, instead I am wrestling with my own age and the inevitable decline in performance.
Throughout my mid and late twenties I dropped around fifty pounds on my way to improving my health. Along the way I became somewhat of an athlete again. Running, hiking, and cycling among other things became a pretty regular part of life. All the while looking forward to the day when I would hit what really was an ultimate goal of mine, seeing what an incredibly fit Kyle really looks like. The problem is that the longer I wait, the less likely it is that this goal will ever be accomplished.
Mid-Life Crisis of Another Sort
[pullquote align=”right”]I want to see what an extremely fit Kyle looks like.[/pullquote]
I always have had the end goal of being “the fit guy”. I was never a slim and trim person even at my peak playing days in high school football. I was still a little soft and bigger than most guys in my class. I got a little ribbing about it from time to time throughout school. Once in college the weight started coming on slowly, then into my mid twenties I really packed it on as I began a regular nine to five. So I have never been truly fit.
I am by no means completely out of shape, but it’s all relative. I can run a half marathon. I can ride century bike rides. I have accomplished almost all the things I have wanted to with really with this one exception. Point is, I have never been the fit guy. It’s something I have wanted to accomplish pretty much my entire life. Even if for no other reason than pushing it in the faces of people who said I couldn’t.
It’s a matter of shame. It’s a matter of self esteem, and it’s a matter of pride.
I’m not worried about a six pack, or bulging biceps. What I am looking for is a little muscle definition, and to lean out. So now the question is what’s missing? How do I get there, and what more do I need to complete to get to the ideal self image that I want to see?
I need some goals.
Increase Muscle Mass
I have always been pretty cardio centric. When I first lost most of the weight I did it running. I ran a lot of miles over the course of probably fours years and in the past three years or so I have slowly been moving to cycling. Now seven or eight years into a cardio focused program I feel like I might be developing some muscle imbalances and this is something I want to fix. That’s functional. The other part of this is purely vanity. Yes vanity. It’s something I want so I’ll go after it.
The foundation for health is what you put in your mouth. I have a sugar addiction and I need to address that. In general I want to shore up my diet and clean it up with lean proteins to help aid in muscle recovery and growth. This would be in addition to the obvious fat/weight loss.
BMI tables would have you think I should be in the range of 130 to 170 lbs. I feel like even at the high end of 170 lbs I wouldbe awfully small. So ignoring this, my goal was more in the area of 180 lbs. That being said, this goal is a bit squishy. Increasing muscle mass may make the target a little bit flexible. Not only that but I might alter this as I go along depending on what I feel and how I look.
So where does that leave me in terms of this mid-life crisis? The way I see it there are two legitimate options. Option one would be to go the traditional route and hire a personal trainer, spent my hours in a gym etc.
Option two, and the option I am leaning more heavily towards is something I really never saw myself doing. In fact it’s something that I have generally been a staunch opponent of. It’s caused me to do a lot of reflection over the past several weeks to evaluate where my feelings for it come from (more on that coming in the next post).
It’s a dirty little word called Crossfit.